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Wednesday, October 8, 2008

REASONS OTHER THAN ME


Yesterday once again I wanted to be away from every hell. From never ending work pressures. From stupendous deadlines. From my voracious bosses. From everything I felt best when absent.
In short I just needed to find some peace…and feel a little luckier than the rest of my folks. Not that I wasn’t when we talk about sheer talent, but then with time I realise that you got to pay a price to be good at your work.
So I slowly slipped away from office in mid hours, got back home, changed and went to a nearby old age home. Reasons I cant explain. Probably the whole idea of being with people waiting to see someone new, making them happy, being the light of their gloomy life made me feel better. Even proud if that’s the word your looking for.
As I walk in the home a strange feeling of helplessness surrounds me. Its not the first time I am going there. Nor will this be the last time. But the feeling stays more or less the same.
I meet one and all. The sisters, the priest, ofcourse the old aunties who surprise you with a smile on their tales about how mean the next auntie is and sometimes shock you with a tear about a lot of other things.
Finally as I am about to leave I see an old uncle sitting at a sofa facing the garden. He reminds me of Pinnachio's maker. As in the same half bald head, watery eyes, half moon spectacles. He seems a little lost right now.
I go to him and speack for a brief ten minutes. He tells me that today's his son's birthday. He wants to wish him but cannot. He has forgived his son. Probably all he wants to do is hear his voice. But cannot for reasons he cant explain.
I try diverting his attention. We talk for some more time. I tell him about the latest ad I made, the new recipe I learnt, the candles I tried making, the salsa steps that I underperformed, even the blasts that have kept me scared.
He listens. Sighs.Smiles. Laughs. Looks worried. Finally Mission Accomplished is what I begin to feel. He looks happier.
As I say my Goodbye and promise to come again he stops me for a second and does something I remember with teary eyes everytime. He joins his hands and thanks me for talking to him. For giving him some of my time.
I am left speechless. I want to tell him a lot of things. But he leaves me with that unexplainable expression.
I still will go to the Old age home. But only this time- The Reasons will be not for myself.

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