WE CAN ONLY BE...

We live together…We shall die together…And its ok if we are not Lovers!!!
Those words rang in her ears once again.
They were together. Through their toddler days and finally the graduation years. Hinting the possibility of a secret relationship to the world and then quietly laughing about this trick they played. Friends, truly, sincerely- Just friends!
A day came when they were walking through a not so well lit road and she was about to get hit by a car when he just pulled her back and saved her. It looked more like a super hero on a rescue mission to save the heroine…but then he was always like that. She was convinced about it and happy in his shelter. Knowing fully well that love was taking place of friendship in his heart. But then, it was unsaid and lay untouched. But that particular day after saving her and taking relief that she was in one piece, without any wounds he gave her a moist eyed look and said- You know what… ‘We live together’. She didn’t know what to say in that tense, intense moment. So all she muttered was- ‘We shall die together.’ He looked deeper into her eyes and then finally gave a blank stare a wink and an unexpected reply- ‘Hey! And it’s ok if we are not lovers!’
She ran home. Angry, annoyed, confused, sad. Unable to understand why was it like that. The next 24 hours went brooding about that one single moment. Then finally she gave up and accepted that her first love story, if at all it was, had succumbed to time. And this was it.
They didn’t meet for many days after that. She saw him but hid away, though continued to look at him through the corner of her eyes, struggling to control the flutter in her heart that his presence still caused. From friendship…to almost love…to nowhere.
The next year brought wedding bells along. She looked like the princess of the world in her red outfit. The rites done, the blessings taken, her groom by her side, as she walked towards her car, there was a pat at her shoulder.
He stood there. Dressed in classic black, with a bouquet in his hand. Yes, he looked better than most in that room.
He said- ‘Hey beautiful! You will always be happy. I know that now. Do tell me if you need something.’
She unaffected by the people around returned saying- ‘You should know about what I want. Remember, we lived together.’ To that he reacted with a smile and words she knew well with an added question mark- ‘We shall die together?’ The satire in the way he said it made her laugh and reply- ‘Ya...and its ok…we are not lovers.’
Years passed. They weren’t living together anymore. Responsibilities pushed way into life and she forgot those words. Only one day when she was sending her daughter to school she heard about a badly injured major serving the Indian Army, lying dead in the hospital.
She recognized the name. The photograph. There was no one to claim his body. He didn’t have a family. Just a few belongings. He was a great soldier they said. Fighting till the last minute. The true hero Well, she knew, he always was one.
They didn’t find too many belongings. Just a diary. With his work schedules drawn. His rules written. His important things listed. His goals carved. Nothing of any importance to her. Except the last page where he had scribbled in red-
We hardly lived together
I know we won’t die together
Still…we are, we can only be Lovers!!!

THE LEAF OF LOVE

She looked through the bars with her peering eyes. Long, unkempt hair, faded colour but a glint of sparkle in her eyes.
Everyday the bell rang at 11.30 am. Then, till 4.00 pm they were allowed outside. At 4.00 they retired to their rooms again till the next day. Her fragile brain had memorized this timetable now.
And even more their meeting everyday. Girls and boys had been put into different rooms. They could socialize only in that span of 4 ½ hours. There were so many around. But he was different. Or may be more like her. He always carried a fresh leaf as a token of love and a celebration of their meeting. Flowers were not available in that vicinity. But she loved it and everyday hugged him and shook hands in return. Then they sat on the swings and spoke about everything under the sun that was known to them. Like the fat matron's croaking voice, the obnoxious odour the bathrooms carried, the inedible food served. Everything was full of bliss and yet so playful in that short span of 4 ½ hours. But once the parting bell rang, the scene changed. An environment of innocence and cheer became tense and traumatic with the matrons pulling them away from each other. Once, she delivered a sharp bite, as her token of anger on the matron's palm.
He had been there for 2 years, while she for 1. In that stale routine, they were the only ray of light to each other. He loved those 3 days in the year when they were allowed to be together from early dawn to the wee hours in the evening. On these three days they were made to pray, sing & eat a sumptuous meal. But the most important and beautiful part was being in each other's company and giggle together. This was perfection. Or so she thought.
The only times she hated were when two unknown people came to meet her every month. They would look at her from a distance and try to converse. She never allowed them to come close. She hated strangers. But they would still come and cry. She was increasingly growing tired of them.
Then one day everything changed.
That morning she got up with a terrible pain at the back of her head. She felt dizzy and then all of a sudden she remembered it all. Everything flew back to memory. And then she knew who she was. Who they were. She remembered him, whom she belonged to. And at last she thought about that innocent, strange, yet her only sole support which, she had encountered in that mental asylum, where patients suffering from multiple neurotic disorder thrived.
A thousand scenes floated in front of her eyes. Her marriage, her career as a teacher, her mom and dad who came to see her every month she now realized, and finally her new acquaintance. The clock struck 11.30.The bars opened again. She studied the environment and the people. It seemed more like a kindergarten school, with the kids being a bit oversized. And then she saw him waiting at one corner.
He was approaching her. A leaf in his hand and a sparkle in his eye. Every thing the way it used to be. Only she had changed.
Now she had to decide. Life had once again placed its puzzle and she had to find a way out. Security on one hand and innocence on the other. On one side her husband who had not bothered to meet her once, throughout the year and on the other side a stranger, she could not help feeling drawn to.
He gave her the leaf. She wanted to smile, shake hands and hug him. But she knew it wasn't meant to be. Not because she was selfish. But because love was adverse and it had cheated her. Strange can be the ways of love.
She took the leaf and tore it off. He looked at her in disbelief. He yelled, fought and then finally cried aloud. She wept her tears silently.
The same evening her parents came to free her from that prison or maybe a place where she was leaving a precious part of her life; whose worth only two people had known so far. And no one would ever know now.
She was standing at the gate. From a distance she saw her husband, who had now come to take her and then she looked back .She wanted to promise herself and the love she had now come in terms with, that she would come back for a visit every month. But when one cannot trust the purity of a feeling, the knowing of a new affection; how to come in terms with a promise. And she left, alone.